You ma have thought that I have lost,

but I’m telling you,

It’s not what it seems…

i wish I could go back to January 31,2009…

at exactly 8:00 pm.

“Go ahead and explain yourself”

He said these line with a husky voic,

I saw that look…

And I know I won’t be saying anything.

 I already lost…

I was not expecting that news,

but atleast it came out just fine…

I was an almost “perfect” gal,

I didn’t say that,

 People around me did,

I was an A-list student way back then,

I remember making my parents proud,

specially my dad,

he was the one who use to pin my ribbons,

I use to sing during school fairs,

and I dance a lot,

I won debates,

I had a lot of friends,

and my friends parents like me,

I remember my friends telling me that their mom kept on saying that they should be like me,

I never gave my parents a pain in the neck,

I love to follow my dad’s footsteps,

he was the one who trained me…

We all change,

It started before I went to college,

for someone who already get all the attention and recognitions when they were young tends to lose enthusiasm in aiming for more,

I started to take it easy,

But I still surprise my parents,

I went to a lot of trips without even paying a penny,

I had published a story on a book,

wrote dozens of articles,

appeared twice on one of the leading news papers,

danced in a prestige hotel,

passed every exam that my dad wants me to take,

Met a number of Class A people,

I still have my magic touch,

and I never get it the hard way,

I always get what I want and when I want it,

But then I realize that it was not enough,

For someone who was given an opportunity to grow,

What I have now is still not enough,

Right now I already got two of the three requirements that my dad wants me to have,

Well…

I got those two since I was born,

I just took really good care of it,

I just have to work on one thing,

But I was aiming to make up for being easy o lucky,

I would add another one to those requirements,

It may take time but right now,

I’m working on it,

I have to pay for making my dad furious at times,

and I’ll make sure to accomplish it before he realize it…

Where the hell are you?

It’s been 5 long months since I last heard from you,

since then I haven’t seen you,

What’s going on?

It’s the first time that this happen…

I don’t know how to react.

just when I thought everything is alright,

it turns out that it’s not!

damnit!

I hate myself for  imagining things!

I shouldn’t have done that!

That’s the last anyway…

i have nothing to say, since every word I say does not count…

go ahead,

view my profile as long as you want,

i’ll have your head on my desk within this month…

i used to be the happiest gal on earth,

not until someone took my life,

Since then, I lived in agony,

I’d cry,

then sleep,

then cry again,

it was so dumb,

my sky is always gray,

I could not take it,

I tried fighting for what I believed was right,

but then realize that it was just me,

I’m the only one who believes in that,

it made me see that life doesn’t always go the way you expect it to be,

I was once, a tough shell to crack,

but now i’m just a petty gal…